On a scale of 1 – 10—with 1 being hell no, and 10 being hell yes—how was today, were you living the life you imagine for yourself? Or are you, like a lot of people, waiting for something to change, waiting to lose the weight, so your life can begin?
It sounds like this, when I lose this weight I’ll: feel better about myself; be more confident; put myself out there; finally meet someone; get a better job; be better at the job I have; have more friends; exercise; wear sexy clothes; have more sex; like myself.
It’s crazy how different [we think] life will be when we finally lose the weight.
I am an expert in this subject because I spent a lot of years imagining how different my life would be when I lost weight. It would be so much more fun and I would have so much more fun! I wouldn’t be thinking about food, I’d be thinking about more interesting things like, who discovered baking powder, how, and why (Alfred Bird (1811-1878) so he could make yeast-free bread for his wife, Elizabeth, who had allergies to eggs and yeast)? I’d be going skiing with friends, feeling confident at work, and living the happy life I imagined everyone else was living.
Except it didn’t work that way. I would lose the weight, and I’d feel great until I bumped up against something like being single, or feeling like someone didn’t like me, or blowing some opportunity and not knowing why (see my post on Self Sabotage). Then, as sure as Oreos are better dipped in milk, I’d start gaining the weight back.
What finally made the difference for me, and allowed me to lose the weight and keep it off?
It was when I made the connection that losing the weight meant I looked different, I even felt prettier, but I was still struggling with the same doubts and insecurities that kept me from fully living and loving my life.
All this time I’ve been waiting for the wrong thing to happen so that I could get on with my life!
This is the most important thing I can share with you: I wasn’t unhappy because I was overweight, I was overweight because I was unhappy.
If dieting were a real solution to managing our weight there wouldn’t be an entire industry devoted to creating new ones every week. The real solution to being overweight is to stop overeating.
Your body knows how much fuel it needs, and food is fuel, so when you overfill your tank those calories become your extra weight. If you stop eating when you are sated (sated does not = stuffed, loosening your belt or unbuttoning your pants) your body will regulate to it’s natural weight.
How do you do that? How do you stop eating beyond hunger?
I built a whole program around it, but the short answer is that you find out what you are “using” food to buffer from. Is it thinking you’re not good enough; haven’t accomplished enough; aren’t pretty enough? Are you feeling lonely, bored, hurt, abandoned? Are you afraid of putting yourself out there; of being judged? Is it that everyone else is so happy and you’re feeling empty?
The self discovery and awareness that comes from understanding why we eat when we’re not hungry allows us to engage in life on a deeper and more satisfying level.
I know, I learned this a long time ago, I have not dieted in over 15 years, I weigh less than I did 20 years ago and I don’t obsess about food, calories or my hips!
Everyday doesn’t need to be a 10, but it can come closer than it is if you’re struggling with weight and body issues.
If you want to learn what it takes to stop overeating I want to talk to you!
Don’t miss a post, subscribe here.